The Washington DC Metro system is among the safest in the
world but the Fairfax County Police have decided to police the metro lines in
Fairfax County despite the fact that Metro already employees 490 officers, 64
special police and 91 civilian personnel to do police the lines.
Fairfax County’s Police chief, another grossly overpaid nameless,
faceless guy in a silly suit said “It increases our chances of arresting black
people from DC and murdering more unarmed white men, we’re really looking
forward to this, mostly because we’ll get away with it”
The chief denied that this is a waste of tax dollars that
could be used to build a second beltway or hire more teachers. “We waste money
all the time, so there must be a lot of it to waste, right?”
He also denied that there are too many police on the force
and not enough for them to do “Firstly, if there are too many cops on the force
why are there so many cops on the force? Answer me that. Second firstly, we’re
trying to balance out our unarmed kill ratio and this will allow us to murder
more black men and maybe even some of those one who don’t talk in no good English,
especially the urine colored ones”
Supervisor Gerry “Opps Dearie! Hyland said “I just love me a
man in a uniform, I’m Gay and there is certainly nothing wrong with that but all
I can say is; it let it rain men in uniform!”
